Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship, after all, two people can’t agree on everything, all the time.
Most of the people think conflict as bad!!!!
The Chinese Kanji meaning “crisis” is made up of two part. one symbol is danger and the other is opportunity.
That’s how it is when you are in conflict - dangerous but with opportunity!
The more skills people have in dealing with conflict, the more chance there is to use it as an opportunity.
Opportunity to talk about underlines issues at the personal level, or to talk about business options that we have never talked about in the past (in a commercial dispute).
Dealing with any dispute, is better than avoiding it, is crucial! When you don’t mange dispute, you harm your relationship - either personal or business relationship, but when you handle in a respectful positive way, it can be an opportunity to bring your relationship to the next step -
a better one!
When you deal with a conflict you have to remeber a few things in order to make it better and to achieve a better result. “ the way we are articulate” - we each have our own way of saying things, which directly affects the way that others perceive us.
for example: The Israeli can speak with lots of passions, could be interpreted as we are mad, but not necessarily it is the truth, Sometimes, just by changing the tone of our voice we can get a positive reaction from the other side.
Another thing we have to be careful is avoiding making the situation worse such as: instead of to say : “ This is the last time I am going to try to resolve this peacefully” you can say “ We tried so many times to resolve our situation let’s make it right this time”.
Alongside of talking we need to know how to listen. usually most of the people attend to hear than to listening, I would have say listening is an art, it is a key to knowing and understanding. one way to know more is to listen more and get more information.
I know sometimes it is hard but we have to discard the idea that we know everything and have all the answers, remember by listening you can recognized other problems.
The last thing but not least is - Empathy. In any relationsip it's good to have this quality, especially when it comes to a personal relationship it is good to have the ability to understand and share another person’s experience and emotions.
Try to place yourself in the other side position and to appreciate what the dialogue means to the him/her.
If you are still have the feeling that this conflict is beyond your ability to deal with, I guess you are dealing with an high conflict personality. Usually with HCP you have to focus on the future and not on the past, because anyway people never agree what happened in the past.
Try to connect with the person feel Empathy give him/her lots of attention and respect! the more you will do it the better chance you will solve the conflict.