Passover is coming and many of us live away from our extended family and childhood friends.
The daily longing received during the holiday period changes validity, even can lead to a feeling of distress or pain, not so among families who have short of communication leading to a rift in relations and therefore the relationship becomes unscathed.
Such are the “Smiths”, the mother Caroline and the children Ritz and Karen (pen names) are in a prolonged disconnect.
Our conversation opened with a few introductory words and minutes later became a difficult and charged conversation, between the three developed a painful conversation and the details that arose were the following picture: the children Ritz and Karen sued their mother for $5000
Claiming that she had taken funds from their father's account that had just passed away, even though those funds were, according to their claim to them,
It is worth noting that the mother is the guardian of the parent accounts.
The mother claimed that she did not use these funds, but transferred them to her and their father's joint account,
The children claimed that no receipts were found for these amounts.
Or what documents indicate the transfer of funds to her account.
After a very difficult conversation between the parties, I realized that I need talk with each of them alone. When I was talking to the children, I realized that they love and miss their mother very much, and on the other hand they are angry and hurt, feeling ostracized, quite a few things from childhood came up and watched while talking about their anger, which probably didn't solve them, especially about Karen's anger towards her mother. During the conversation, I realized that Ritz and Karen did not think that their mother had taken the funds and spent it for her own benefit. But they felt that she supposed to consult with them before using the money.
In a conversation with the mother, she said openly and honestly that she felt that the closeness between her and her children, especially with her daughter, was being undermined day by day, and she felt that her home no longer needed her company, and also noted that her great fear was aging and would remain on her limb without the support of her children, and the only source for her In order to feel secured it is her money.
I was wondering, why did they come to court?
Instead of to solve it outside the courthouse? as it's appropriate and honorable to do within a family.
In a conversation with Karen, the solution was found, Karen said that
She went through a difficult time because she was in a difficult and expensive divorce proceeding, and she expected the mother to come and provide her with financial and mental help, especially given the daughter's dismal financial support.
She said she felt banished, and her brother felt her pain along with his pain over the father's death. They felt that they were not among the decision-makers, and every decision their mother made was without their share.
At the end of my personal conversations, I went back and had a conversation with whole the family. The conversation was difficult, accompanied by tears, and internal frustration, but the conversation that took place while I was mediating between the parties was the first time such issues had come up within the family, the hard feelings seemed to be pushed into a box for many years, and this time a sparrow was given to their feelings and anger, the emotions and frustration that had been some of them for years. At the end of the meeting, it was agreed that Ritz and Keren would be complicit in the decisions made regarding the funds allocated for their own benefit, the mother said that she will be happy to help her daughter financially and mentally with regards to her divorce.
The daughter was moved to tears and she was speechless. The two hugged warmly and you could feel and see the joys on their face. And what about the lawsuit? The lawsuit was dropped at the end of the meeting, it turns out that family love and support even in this time they are above all
Holidays is a good time for thinking outside the box. We stand at the doorstep of Passover "Freedom Day" which symbolic for many of us our freedom to choose. Maybe it's time to pick up the phone and try to bridge between our disagreement and remember the good things, because at the end of the day family is a top value.
Happy Kosher Passover