Virtual discourse !
You can see on social media, especially during on those days, an ugly discourse that stems from the accelerated escalation and the inaccurate information, some of which are incorrect on social media.
Do you have to go so low to express your opinion? What does that say about us?
I guess we're all familiar with this phenomenon.
I have a feeling that the hand is easy on the keyboard and if I do not see or know the other side, the skirmish is simple and easy, nevertheless, I see any disagreement as an opportunity, an opportunity to learn to understand but not necessarily accept.
Some tips for a decent discourse:
Before you type on your keyboard and going into an active discourse, remember there is another person beyond the keyboard, maybe he thinks differently than you but you don’t have to agree with him/her, but it is necessary to understand, doesn’t need to accept. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the other, the disagreement does not make the other side worse for a fool or a pit but simply to another person who thinks differently from you, which is fine.
Do not try to be the winner in the discourse - as a mediator I often encounter the mediation room (when the tones go up) each side wants to feel the winner, but at the end of the process the parties realized that there is no a winner at that game!
Feeling victorious is also a defeat, in most cases the winner is so fixated on his opinion that he does not hear the other side, and does not examine the issue objectively because he thinks " I am the one who right", instead, do not try to fixate yourself in a slot of winner or invincibility, it is a pity for the time and energies that ultimately it does not lead to good, but rather fixates you on a pattern of behavior that can lead to unpleasant verbal violence that you will regret .
Focus on the matter and do not stray in other directions – the issue can be about the situation in Israel, the coronavirus and more. Even if you think differently from the other side, it is appropriate to focus mainly and not the therapist.
In most cases, the discourse begins with a big issue for example, the political situation in Israel and is eventually dragged into personal expressions and infidelity, the connection between them and the original discourse is certainly coincidental.
During the discourse, ask questions and answer the subject in a matter-of-fact manner and not be drawn into an ugly discourse. Q&A helps to understand how the other side thinks, and sometimes it leads to finding a common ground between you and the other side. The common ground helps to continue a pleasant discourse.
The virtual discourse, unlike regular discourse, is based on words only, words have power that can lead to unpleasant discourse, since we cannot receive warning signs during the discourse, by body language or tone of speech, so we should avoid sarcastic humor. It is worth examining every word of the body before we press the keyboard because it is easy to be a "hero" in front of the keyboard that you do not see the other side.
At the beginning of my remarks, I wrote that the hand is easy on the keyboard because in most cases I don't know the other side, so it is simpler, but think about it from another direction, although I don't know the other side but maybe I could feel some connection to him/her for example if he/she is Israeli we might know same people from the same area in Israel etc.
Especially in the crazy time we are in now - that anti-Semitism is giving its oasis whether it's in a restaurant in Los Angeles or New York, or as a result of the missiles fired at Israel and forcing our family members to sit in a safe room or shelter, we as Israelis abroad despite our differences of views on the right or the left side on the political map, feel we would like to live in peace and quiet in our small country that we love so much. Think carefully before you press the "Send" key There is someone
beyond the keyboard there is someone who thinks a little differently than you but in a lot of things feels similar.