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The hand is light on the Keyboard


The hand is light on the Keyboard
The hand is light on the Keyboard


Sometimes, when I wander on social media, especially during our turbulent period, I encounter ugly discourse that stems from the accelerated escalation and the dissemination of information that is partly incorrect on social media.

Do you have to go down so low in order to express your opinion? What does this say about us?

I assume that we are all familiar with this phenomenon.

I have a feeling that my hand is light on the keyboard, and as long as I don't see or know the other side, the skirmish is simple; I see every disagreement or disagreement as an opportunity, an opportunity to learn to know and understand but not necessarily to accept.


Here are a few tips for typing:


Before you sit in front of the keyboard and before you enter a flowing discourse

(Written discourse), remember that another person is beyond the keyboard because he thinks differently from you. But this does not mean there is no need to listen - (in this case, read the text) to speak (to type); in the end, you do not have to agree. Still, it is necessary to understand, not necessarily accept, and try to put yourself in the shoes of the other. Disagreement does not make the other person worse, stupid, or ignorant; it is simply another person who thinks differently from you, and that's okay.


Don't try to be the winner in the discourse - as a mediator, I often encounter in the mediation room (when the tone rises), where each side wants to feel victorious. Still, at the end of the process, after a discourse that sometimes spills over into an ugly discourse, the parties understand that there is no winner and there is an understanding. In a mediation process, unlike a discourse on social media, the goal is to reach an agreement.

Feeling victorious is also defeat; in most cases, the winner is so fixed in his mind that he does not hear the cries of the parties and does not examine the issue objectively because he thinks, "I am the winner.", he did not try to fix yourself in the square of winner or loser, it is a waste of time and energy because in the end, it does not lead to sound, but instead fixes you in a pattern of behavior that can lead to unpleasant verbal violence that you will regret.


Focus on the matter and don't deviate in other directions – the topic can be about the situation in Israel, the Coronavirus, and more. Even if you think differently from the other side, focusing on the main thing, not the care, is appropriate.

In many cases, the discourse begins with the "main point," for example, the political situation in Israel, and eventually leads to personal expressions and insults, the connection between which and the original discourse is purely coincidental.

Ask questions and answer the topic matter-of-factly during the conversation, not be dragged into an ugly conversation. Questions and answers help to understand how the other side thinks, and sometimes, this leads to finding a common denominator between you. The common denominator helps to continue a pleasant conversation.



Unlike regular discourse, virtual discourse is based on words only; words have power that can lead to an unpleasant discourse because we cannot receive warning signs during the conversation by body language or tone of speech, so you should avoid sarcastic humor. It is worth examining each word before we press the keyboard because it is easy to be a "hero" in front of the keyboard when you do not see the other side.


At the beginning of my remarks, I wrote that my hand is light on the keyboard because, in most cases, I don't know the other side, so it's more straightforward, but think about it from a different direction, although I don't know that Israeli beyond the keyboard, I feel a little or very connected to him,


Especially in the crazy time we are in now when anti-Semitism is showing its signs, whether it is in a restaurant in Los Angeles or New York or as a result of the missiles that were fired at Israel and forced our family members to sit in a safe room or a shelter, and then we as Israelis abroad, despite our different opinions from the right and the left, feel and thirst for quiet in our small country that we love so much. Think carefully before you press the "send" key; someone on the other side of the keyboard may be thinking a little differently than you. However, in many things, he feels the same.




For Healthy and Good Communication


Adi Roffe-Schaffer, Esq, Mediator

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